GB - I'm sorry it has come to this, but there may turn out to be a silver lining in all this. You never know what glorious future awaits you.
I'm sorry to hear about your H's change in personality. Sometimes it's just the drug-like effects of infatuation (which lights up the brain just like cocaine, and seems to trigger similar addict-like behaviors in some WASs). Other times it is actual genuine brain damage (my ex had 6 concussion in 8 years prior to our split, I think he may have a minor form of the brain disease that football players have - at least, that's the generous explanation of his otherwise jerky behaviors).
Still, at some point, you can't save them from themselves and have to let them go. It's awful for the kids, but at least they have you to be their rock, and at least you have been the major breadwinner anyway. You know you did your best to try and save the marriage, you can move on now with a clear conscience. Put down your burden and dream some big dreams for yourself.
(P.S. I bought a drum kit when my ex left and learned to play the drums at 52. Now I play in a pop-punk cover band, and this year I played vibraphone in a friend's band at SXSW, the giant music industry conference in Austin TX. Not bad for a middle-aged woman )
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