My W's family is coming to stay with us this weekend. About 6 of her brood. Some of them, it's the first time I have seen them since my W came home... dang, even since the A revelation in late 2012.
I have this weird feeling about her family. I love them. I really do, but I also get hurt and even embarrassed. Hurt because some of them didn't support my marriage and even allowed the affair to take place in their homes, spending time with xAP. And embarrassed because it ties into my insecurities that I am working through on what my W might have said to them to justify her behavior. It certainly wasn't, "oh RT is a wonderful wife, I love her so much." No... that is the furthest thing from the types of conversations my W probably had with her family on why she was cheating on me.
My plan, and I'm not worried about execution at all, I know I will handle it well... is to be my best me. To enjoy their company, laugh, have fun, and connect as a family. But I anticipate some inner dialogue and some personal struggle on it.
I guess I should keep in mind... I'd rather be me in this scenario with her family, than had to have been her with mine!
Onward and forward DB'ers. One "piece" at a time.
Me(F):40 WAW:44 T:13yrs M:9yrs BD:2/12 (I saw a text) ILYBINILWY: 5/12 PA admission: 12/12 (began 3/11) S:2/13 Moves in w/AP D begins: 7/13 W moves home to R: 10/13
RT thats bound to be hard but it sounds like you have it spot on with what you should do, be the best you!
You will probably never know what she said to them or what they thought of the situation so there really is no point in wasting your energy on that, they are her family and if she's happy then i'm sure they will be happy too.
Enjoy it, i'm sure it will be a lovely weekend - if you find things getting tough then come on here and vent to us then get back to enjoying your weekend
Divorce Final: Oct 2014
Your struggles today, develop strength for tomorrow...
Today I am emotional an on high alert. I know what today is. It's the exAP's birthday. I know this because we were friends. I'm betting my W knows it too.
Later this month W will have been home for 6 months. Things are moving slowly and I have been ok, but today, I am holding my breath and in a storm of triggers, mind movies, timeline reviews and all out crazy train mode.
Holding it together. Letting things out to process alone, slowly. Journaling here. Painfully reminded of how long healing from infidelity is really going to take.
Me(F):40 WAW:44 T:13yrs M:9yrs BD:2/12 (I saw a text) ILYBINILWY: 5/12 PA admission: 12/12 (began 3/11) S:2/13 Moves in w/AP D begins: 7/13 W moves home to R: 10/13
Of course today will bring some triggers but try to remember that your W is with YOU because she wants to be, keep posting & processing, the feelings will pass.
You can do this ((( RT )))
Divorce Final: Oct 2014
Your struggles today, develop strength for tomorrow...
