If I can be friends with my ex's, it blows me away that the mother of my children won't even talk to me.
I just don't understand why she still will barely talk to me and isn't willing to even consider working on our M.
We have told you several times the WHY part. You're not accepting this at all. The reason why your W doesn't want to talk with you because she has her Berlin Wall up as self-protection mechanism. She's in pain and doesn't want to give you any 'hope' of a R. That will take a long, long time for the wall to come down.
If you've read some of my posts here and there, it took 6 months for Ms. Wonka to send me a picture of our cat after I've sent her pictures of our dog. We did not talk in person until Ms. Wonka visited our old marital time in the Spring of 2005. She left the house in August 2004. Hmmmm...doesn't that give you some idea of how high the Berlin Wall was up. Even with that brief talk, Ms. Wonka went right back behind the wall and we didn't see each other until August 2007 when our dog was dying. She flew in to stay with the dog until then. That was a total of 2 nights/2 days.
Your W does NOT want to talk with because it is TOO painful for her. Understand this yet??!!
You cannot force a friendship on W just because you are friends with your exes. It took time for you to be friends with them, right?
Dude, your W just got served and ya think she'll rush to work on the M now? I think not. This is not where her mind set is RIGHT NOW.
