Well, sounds so resonable BUT... FIL is the BIGGEST thing of contention between my W and I. She is so badly wanting him to be part of her life even when he has made it known that for him to accept her, be proud of her, she needs to leave me and the kids. She refuses to see the things he has done over the years trying to come between me and her kids saying she doesn't "remember" or "no one is good enough for his little girl". I have seen her allow this man to say and do the most hurtful things to the kids and just let it go saying "oh, that's just him trying to be funny" or some other lame excuse. The kids are well aware of the fact that their mother is ready to walk and are so afraid of angering her, they won't want to say what they really think as they have tried in the past and she ignores them or tells them they just don't understand him.
Since B-day I've have heard my W rewrite her history with this man, especially after her visit to Fla with him. He has now somehow become a victim! She has said the reason he treated her and her brother so badly was that he was so "hurt". Hurt by what? He was the one who left them all 1000 miles from home and was gone, off to live with his OW in another state when they got home! He has used her life long desire to have him in her life and her MLC to change everything and turn the truth on it's head and she is desperate for him to love and accept her, she is buying it hook line and sinker. It will make no difference to her what the kids think, nor me for that matter!
I think the best I can hope for is he ends up backing out which I don't see happening as he is so close to his goal of getting her away from me and her family. I know it's hard for most people to believe how awful this man is, I get that. Most people can't imagine just how someone's own father can work so hard at destroying their grandkids family and if I hadn't had to go thru it myself I wouldn't believe it either! To her, in her MLC brain, she see's it as him "caring" about what she see's as her best option and just can't or won't see the effect this man has on even her own kids!
The childhood that this man's antics and selfishness casued is most likely the biggest reason my W is going thru her crisis, his "advice" has been nothing but destructive from the start of all this. I can zero good that can come of him coming anywhere near my family at this time. My W wanted to see him and went to visit him on her own, fine! I just don't know how to stop something (his visit) that I know can have nothing but bad come from it!
