It did appear that he was scapegoating me. I immediately called him out on it. I told him that I did not change things or make things "real" by not going to Easter. I told him that this is our reality because he checked out, he had an A, he moved out in July, he decided to not try and he decided to move again into his own place. I told him that he chose this reality and I am simply trying to live my life in light of his decisions. He said that he did not mean it that way and that he was just trying to share how hard Easter and the past few weeks have been.
My H does have a huge problem taking ownership of his decision. He ALWAYS blames everyone else for everything. His decision to get his own place was not his decision but his therapist's recommendation. His DUI was not his fault, it was the OW's fault (she grabbed the wheel which caused him to swerve) and the cop's fault because he was a jerk. The fact that his sentence was not reduced was this attorney's fault (and in turn my fault since I recommended the attorney). His A was my fault because I pushed him away and did not offer the things OW offered.
It is so much easier to see it now. H always turned things around on me during our M. I don't buy it anymore and I will no longer take ownership for anything that I did not cause.
