[BrightFuture]

Heather, I start feeling a lot better now, when I have a job. It feels good to go to the store and not think about how much money I have to spend.

Job, I did have too much time on my hands. It looks like I will be starting at that company next week. Just got my background check report and it is all clean. As it was expected.

Whytry, thanks for the advice. I live at the place where we have plenty of sun. I go for walks my dog every day. It does help with depression and anxiety.

Portia, good to see your post! I was thinking about you. As for friends, yes, I cannot help it but to ask and hear about H. This is where my dilemma is. They are the only good friends of H over there. He goes to their house for dinners and to hang around, they do some activities together (with male friend mostly), they are quite often in the same company of people. When I meet my friends there are always conversations about things and it is just impossible to live H out of it. If they don’t mention him, it makes me think that they are hiding something from me, because I know that he is present in a lot of the events they talk about. This is why I periodically think about ending this friendship. And then I back off because they are very good friends to me.

I don’t think shock therapy will benefit H. He will just retread dipper into the tunnel. I will let him deal with the consequences of his own making.

Speaking of this, I received a reply from him yesterday. He congratulated me on the job offer. He also told me that he got bad news about his job in that state where he is supposed to go. The job will not start probably until late June. Then he says “Oh well, hunker down right.” This is not good. He will have to scramble for money to pay for the condo mortgage and the rest of the expenses.

I had a cascade of mixed emotions about this. First, I was upset about this. Then I thought that karma is catching up with him. Then I felt sorry for him and wanted to help. Then I remembered that I would not be contributing to our company while I have a full time job, so he will not be able to rely on my money for his expenses, even temporarily. I can only imagine what he feels right now. But, he brought it up on himself; he wanted to be free of me and our M where we always supported each other in difficult times.

On another note, my GF is flying in this weekend, and we are going shopping for my new clothes! She wants to do it for me. Portia, I’m going to buy a fab outfit for me!