Thanks Melissa, always appreciate your words of advice.
The thing with the vacation is difficult. I do plan on going on vacation, my problem is my finances are limited and once again I have to rely on H for $$. I have started subbing but that does not pay much. I do plan on getting a full time job after summer break. Most of my family is there and I always have a good time and relax. Just trying to manage the financial part of it. And yes, it will be hard emotionally because this is where H and I seemed to connect the most.
I know detaching and giving up are two separate things, I'm just struggling with the detachment. If I dig deep I know I WILL be ok regardless of what happens with my M I just of course don't want to end up there! Guess none of us do, that's why we are here.
There is no easy solution with the kids. The best I can do for them is make sure they know I love them no matter what. Although I'm questioning what he's doing with regard to his lack of communication with them, I know he is a good dad and loves them. But yes, eventually he will have to answer to them as well and it is not my job to teach him "a lesson." That I know is me stooping to a level I don't want to stoop to and wanting him to hurt.
Quote:
You are stronger than you think - quit being so hard on yourself. If your best friend was telling your story, would you be disappointed and think she wasn't strong enough? I doubt it. Stop judging yourself and where you are in the process - it only holds you back.
Once again, great words. As a matter of fact, I went to dinner a few weeks ago with a friend, her H and our D12s. He told me he was amazed how well I'm doing! So I do know I'm strong, even when I don't always feel like it.
Need to come up with a motto.
Me-44 (45) H- 50 (51) M-'96
S-18(20)D-15(17)D-12(14)
BD Feb 2014 (he works overseas) home Oct(sep rooms) (EAs possible Pa's unconfirmed) insists wants D through July 2015 no more talk of D since