You are in control of you. That's the best place to be.

He on the other hand... as you change people can't help but notice the changes and the R does change. However, we aren't in control of how it changes.

If we take the convo at face value, it would seem H is scapegoating you. Is this a pattern with him, always blaming others for his bad choices?

Is it easier to see that now and not allow yourself to take what he says as true just because he said it?

Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss