Don't know what to think

[TL72*]

Tboned,
Yep that is one of the hardest things to do in this journey. Mine did not offer a hug or a goodbye or anything. When the day came for the court date, he went, I didn't. It was just like any other day to me by then. Now you can start healing more. Try not to think about OW, she's just a fill in and he'll realize that eventually. You can't go from one relationship to another like that without bringing along your baggage. Can't tell the MLC'er that - but they have to figure that crap out for themselves. Just distract yourself when you find your mind wandering that way, snap a rubberband on your wrist if you have to. Mine doesn't have to contact me now either but he's already texted me a couple times now which I find interesting. Not sure what else to think about it. Can't mind read, can't expect anything, just have to let go. It's good for you to journal like you did, I like your poem. I wrote a few myself and it does help. I especially like to hand write because it feels like i'm getting that stuff out of me and on to paper more than if I type it. Gets some of those thoughts out that keep you awake at night. I'm sleeping better now than I ever have. One thing I did was write a good bye letter to my exH. Not the kind you actually send, it's just a sort of release. Good bye to walking on eggshells, good bye to snoring, good bye to bending over backwards to keep the peace, or whatever it was that went on in your relationship. I must have written 2 pages lol. Allow yourself that time go grieve. Also remind yourself of your good things, make this about you. I wrote a list of things i'm grateful for. Also in my divorce group they had us write down 50 characteristics about ourselves (good ones) just to remind yourself that you're a good person, you have self worth. There will still be down days, I especially have them when i'm hormonal, but I find the depression lasts a few days - i'm still functioning and then i'll have really good strong days. I hope you find your inner strength, I think you already are. It is difficult to get through the denial that this is really happening, every day is a new day. Use the time to make your home YOURS, a place you enjoy. I'm sure you've heard all this before, it helps me too just to type it out and remind myself of the things we can do to keep ourselves up and keep a PMA. It's ok to cry, it's ok to be angry, allow yourself to feel it and go through it. ((((hugs)))) to you my sister LBS thinking of you.