So tonight after I've put the kids to sleep, I get a text from W
It says, "Sorry, I feel asleep on the couch here and didn't call the kids. I hope that if the kids wanted to say good night that you would let me know"
When I actually noticed the text, and when I was able to, I responded with "Of course I would. To be honest we were outside from 4-7 and they really fell asleep easily and quickly". This is the truth. We had a blast outside, which was fun for them and me.
Then the surprise text:
"Ok. Well I remembered tonight that one of the reasons I stay so busy is because I get so depressed when I have time to think"
" How are you?"
When I saw it, I responded after awhile with
"I'm doing ok thanks. Played and cleaned the yard with the kids. Tidy yard makes me happy. Agree sometimes easier to be busy. Maybe try a walk?"
Anyways, she went on to discuss that she was staying in tonight , to which I didn't respond as I was out. Later we texted tomorrow's schedule.
Surprised me she said what she did, about actually thinking about things making her depressed. Early on in my sitch, I'd told her the OM was preventing her from actually thinking about what was going on. This of course was Devaste the controller and punisher at that time. I know I've changed, because punisher Devaste would have jumped all over that comment, saying how great I was doing, everything was just fantastic, a regular PMA explosion, but I've learned. I do things that she can see, rather than say much, as often as I can.
I don't discuss this topic with her anymore at all, and I'm trying to not interpret it as anything, but it was an interesting comment from her. I tried to validate her feelings, but stay as neutral as positive. Not be cold or mean, but not rescue her as I used to all the time
