It sounds like you've done well to remain calm with the kids. In my situation, my son has responded well to me listening to what he says instead of yelling at him. I can sympathise with speaking to the 2.5 year old. I haven't figured that out myself yet smile

Me: 31, W: 29
T: 4 M: 2
Kids: 3 (SS: 7, SD: 4, D: 3)
Separated, still living together: Nov 2013
Separate bedrooms: Feb 2014
W working away; kids with me: Nov 2014