I propose that we all step back for a bit and allow Magic to figure things out for herself. We have provided her the tools, i.e., advice, suggestions and guidance. Now, it's time for Magic to do some much needed hard work for herself.
Magic, I will be here to support you in the way of listening and commiserating w/you if, and when you need it. I will offer you encouragement, but I will no longer be offering you advice, suggestions or guidance. It's time for you to put your big girl panties on and continue working on yourself and utilizing the tools that we have provided as well as what you have learned from your women's support group.
As all of you have noticed, we have debated the discussion of her significant other and Magic to death. The problems still exist 28 threads later and the debating and excuses still continue on w/very few, if any changes. As we all say to each other from time to time, when something doesn't work, try something different. I propose that we handle Magic's situation differently by just listening and allowing her to express herself here. Debating and/or arguing isn't getting any of us anywhere w/Magic and I have been observing frustration from posters since Magic first began posting. So, let's try something different shall we? I realize it's going to be difficult not to offer up advice, suggestions and guidance, but we have to allow her some time to try to work through this situation on her own. The way I see it, if we don't do this, this situation will continue on forever in a day w/o ever being resolved and Magic will not do the hard work that she needs to do to learn about herself and what she's capable of doing for herself, as well as being a successful communicator.
Magic, I know you are going to come back and call me mean and not helpful, but the way I see it, we've tried it the proper way here on this forum and it's not worked, so it's time to try something different. Am I being mean and unhelpful? No, I'm dropping the rope and I am going to sit back and give you the space and time to figure things out for yourself w/o my interference. It's the only way that you are going to learn how to deal w/day to day decisions and to make decisions for yourself, i.e., be responsible and accountable in the real world.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
