Hello albamarie, I'm fairly new here and just went and read your thread. I too am living with my MLC spouse (wife)and I can really relate to how hard it is to be just roommates! That is so very hard. Seems like there is always something happening with my W that she "needs" my help with, latest being her grandmother losing her mind and moving into a nursing home. She is my family as well and when I see my W in tears trying to explain that her GM's husband who has been dead for 30 years didn't leave her yesterday and isn't coming to get her, I can't do anything but give her all the support I can. Then, later the same day I have to hear how she plans on leaving, saying "we all hurt our kids, they'll get over it", blaming me for all her pain and hurt, it's all very hard.
I too see how before B-day, my love had waned, my W had pulled away, I just NEVER thought I'd ever hear the words "I want a D, and I don't want to even try". It came as such a shock, this person who didn't "believe" in D, always said we'd be together forever, could change so much so fast! I did all the wrong things, begged, reasoned, etc. at first. Later, I too told her at one point that she wants out, she can go and I too heard "I'm not leaving my family", now all I hear is that "soon" she will leave us to "find her joy". In my case I have a father in law who is pushing her to go and every time she starts to stick her head out a bit, he gets involved and she goes right back in her shell.
I'm 11 months past B-day. Things have gotten better at times only to go back to bad. I am trying to get to where you are, to work on me and live my life as a roommate, having 2 kids (14 and 18, girls) still in school and at home makes things a bit harder but I need to get there. I guess one good thing is as far as I know there is no OP (other than her father)involved as of yet but she is ringless and acting single so probably just a matter of time.
I want you to know I have great respect for you and how far you've come. My W can be so "nice" at times and I know what you mean by "MLC nice" only too well! We do talk (not about R), laugh at times, although she sleeps on couch and we don't ML, there are times when she will accept a "loving" touch. I think there are times she would want to but won't allow herself to get that close, almost afraid that may make her less sure about needing out of her M.
It helps to know I'm not alone in this. So few on here still live with MLC S. Seeing that you have many of the same thoughts and problems helps and it helps to see how far you've come. Thanks for sharing and I wish you all the best!
