Nothing seems to be changing at any pace. I am maintaining my boundaries, and she is now taking the kids a few nights a week. This is actually serving two purposes. It gives me a chance to GAL. Went out this Friday night and had a great time in the city. Almost too good I'm of course guessing a bit, which I know is not good, However, I feel the other benefit is it creates a bit of a reality for what she will have to deal with going forward, as a single parent. Of course I have no idea if she has or hasn't thought about anything of the future like I have. I would only be guessing and mind reading, which I know is unproductive
Last night She asked if the nanny could pick up the kids from her house and bring them to our house in the AM. She didn't understand how she could get three kids ready for school, and then get herself to work, and have "a good day". Obviously, part of the ongoing stich problems revolve around her inability to feel good about her interactions as a mother. To me, of course, this seems like reality of the situation.
I acquiesced, this time, as it was the only way I could get the evening to GAL. However, I did mention that it was a one time thing that could not occur on an ongoing basis. Perhaps a mistake on my part. It's quite a catch 22 for me.
I haven't asked about OM or even snooped for awhile now. It feels good to be detached as much as I am. The challenge for me now is to project the financial reality that will also occur without appearing to, or being controlling.
I wonder if me trying to project the finances that way is trying to be controlling or if it is a good move?
I just want this separation to be a model of what D will be like. Overall, I am direct, not passive aggressive, and am continuing to detach. This GAL with cooking classes and seeing friends is great. I do miss my kids incredibly on the nights they are at her place. And that breaks my heart
I continue with a goal. And as always, I adjust accordingly
I'm of course guessing a bit, which I know is not good, However, I feel the other benefit is it creates a bit of a reality for what she will have to deal with going forward, as a single parent. Of course I have no idea if she has or hasn't thought about anything of the future like I have. I would only be guessing and mind reading, which I know is unproductive 
