And you really want to think this exposure thing through...
In my case, as I was tormenting myself as to whether or not to expose A, my W suddenly ended A because she felt is was not in her best interest. Just like that. She couldn't live with it anymore. [10 days and counting...]
I am much happier that she ended it, rather than it having ended by me, OM or OM's W, because right now, she can't blame me for controlling her life, and OM and his family can quietly fade away. We have enough trouble without OM's W dumping all over us.
By exposing, you are guaranteed to shake things up. But realize that you're adding more emotional people to the mix that you have absolutely no control over.
