buz 28: finally feeling worthy... a new beginning

[makingmagic]

I am not saying anyone is WRONG... I have never said anyone is WRONG!!

I am excercising my right to trust my instincts on this one. I have to start believing in myself, and being responsible for myself.

I am not a fool. I wont be played a fool either.

Starsky... u hit the nail when you said "changing the dynamic"... this is exactly what I am doing now...for a change, a 180. MM likes to "CONTROL the outcome"... I am trying my best to give up the control and see what he does/doesn't. The only person I am in control of is.... ME! I am now able to control, what I will accept and will not. Right now, I am "considering" his terms. I am in the driver seat to what I will accept. Part of my consideration, is to ensure that it will be "exclusive".

I will "Watch". I will be careful. I have my own empowerment now, finally.

Bond ~ I believe I am at the part back when you suggested that I "listen" to him! I am "hearing" him now. He is saying that he isnt READY for committment (right now), he is saying he wants to date me... and not for sex. He is doing... just THAT. I am also believing in you when you would suggest light touch. He is responding very well to any/all of my light touches/affections, even offering hugs back. He is one who has proven himself that reasonable reciprocation works best. I have always said that I beleived YOU understood him the best. He will now share coffee from the same cup... (this was removed if you recall)

I truly do not wish to isolate or to put people off just because I am not following their advice (right now)... I think I am strong enough now to take my own lead. <<<< This is a 180 for MM, trusting herself to make her own decisions. If followers do not wish to support me on this ... thats ok. I do appreciate their efforts to this point.

With that said, I am not making anyone "wrong". I am not ignoring any advice, I am setting it aside (for now)... I may choose to flip myself back, if I notice behaviours that suggest I need to protect myself.

I am not tossing out the Pearlharbr suggestion, that could possibly work for me as well. I may still follow some of the directions that were given to her. I have not completely abandoned ship here!

Heather, I do not have any addiction to alcohol or anything else.