One year in but a newbie

[Lifes Twists]

Ok, you can get out the 2 x 4 and hit me over the head, but I felt I needed to respond to my wife with my concerns about what she did and my daughters well being. I thought for about 24 hours before sending wife the following email this morning,

"I have taken some time to think and reflect about things rather than reacting immediately as I may have done in the past. There are a couple things that concern me greatly about this past weekend. I hope that you will read this and think about without a first reaction of anger but take what I am saying with the same thought and consideration I have tried to put into it.

The first being that you feel it is alright to turn your phone off completely, rather than in vibrate mode, so that you become unavailable to the kids when away for several hours. I never would think that a parent would make themselves completely unavailable without making sure that someone else was available. You are probably saying to yourself that I used to disappear at the museum. Yes I was tough to get a hold of at the museum and it was not the right thing for me to do, but I always felt I left the kids in trusted and responsible hands. Both Lacey and I thought you just did not hear your phone. She must have dialed your number at least 10 times while I was there. Neither of us would even have considered that you just turned it off. With the ability to put it in vibrate mode and at least monitor it in case of an emergency why any parent would just shut it off is beyond consideration.

The second issue is that the kids feel they have to cover for you and lie for you is troubling. The example being set for them that it is alright to be sneaky and lie bothers me greatly. When Lacey said she did not have her key I headed to the apartment directly so she could get one. When I asked her if you would be there she said you might be out on errands. She clearly knew what you were going to be doing. She should not be put in the middle and pressed to lie and cover up for you.

I may not have been the best father and husband in the past. In terms of being a good father I am trying my hardest now to set a good example for the girls of what a father and man should be.

I am disappointed that you only were upset for your self and that it all was about you. I hope you think about this a bit and consider how you would feel today if Lacey had been more seriously hurt and no one was available. Please be the mother that I know you can be.Right now it almost appears that you are pulling away from the kids as much as you have pulled away from me.


With the deepest concern and consideration"

This was not meant to attack her or control her. My concern is for my daughters well being. I am sure this will be a set back, but I felt it warranted some response since this is not the first time she has taken off for a long period and turned off her phone and does not respond or check in with my daughters nor tell me she will not be in contact and out of the area. Let me know if I should have approached it in a different fashion.