afraid I have waited too long #3

[nit84]

Well my WAW served me with papers personally in our home yesterday.

I went from validating to asking if she was going to M her trainer to asking her to speak to a DB coach(which she said she would consider).

She cried a bit said she hated the language in the complaint but couldn't do anything about it. Wants to work on things as team to save money but in the complaint is asking that I pay all fees because she has no income.


Still wants to be involved with my family just not me all the things WAW say.

This morning I asked for her word that she would not take anymore money out of a joint account from where she paid her L.

I didn't hear back so I went and got a separate account and transferred that money into my account that now she has no access to. The bank said it was legal and smart since she has shown and probably been told by her L to do the same thing.

I got her off all credit cards.

The one thing I told her last night was what is about to happen is strictly me protecting myself(referring to money transactions among other things) and has no bearing on my feelings for her but we both need to protect ourselves and I understand and know that it only business with no emotions involved.

Easier said than done especially because she now has access to only money in her account and Im sure will be seething mad but if she didn't see it coming I cant help that.

She has only said things to get her way and I guess what I was telling her is "no more Mr nice guy"

I might be crazy but I still love her and want things to work out.

My IMC says she is manipulating me and my W says I am trying to come at her and screw with her mind when all I am really doing is asking clarifying questions and asking her to do things now that will move the process forward but all the sudden she says I will do whatever my L says and only do these after we are D so if I think it is going to be quick than it is not. W is the one who wants out not me.


Confused by that last statement and need some guidance on what to do next.

About the A, all I asked was for the truth because some rumors had made their back to me and I told the person who told me unless and until my W tells me different that is all they are is rumors.

An A is not a dealbreaker for me and I don't know if I should have said anything but I gave enough information that made her somewhat uncomfortable. I was going to let her tell me if she wanted to I did not accuse but merely without divulving my sources told her that she had been seen in a bad situation with this person and what does his girlfriend and kids know about it.

She asked me how I knew some info and I said well you did his taxes on my computer because when I looked for ours his was right there so it is kinda of public at that point.

It is almost like she wanted me to find out and fly off the handle to justify her leaving but I didn't and she actually thanked me for a calm conversation.

The final two conversations of the night is where she started to get upset and I validated and empathized and left her alone to think about questions and comments I had made.