Well, needed to start a new thread. Not sure how to put a link to old one up but it's "Wife in MLC and getting ready to go!". Anyone that can help with that I'd appreciate it!

Had a set back yesterday. Found out that my W's father isn't coming for daughters graduation (he has told relatives where he lives that he thinks my daughter is a "waste" and will "make nothing of her life" and isn't going to waste his time or money on someone like her and proves this by sending my youngest gifts and money while my oldest can't even expect a birthday card so this was no shock!)BUT he is planning on coming a few weeks later. Funny how this lines up with when my wife has said she plans on leaving and getting a place of her own! She has no idea how to even start doing this and I'm sure he is coming to "help". I also found out that she has been trying to get my youngest daughter to go and spend a month with him and his W (1000 miles away) this summer. My daughter said "I didn't know how to tell her I'd rather lose an arm than spend a day with that creep". She is trying so hard to not upset her mom as she knows how close she is to leaving (although my W doesn't think she has ANY idea).

Found out when my daughter asked if he was coming for graduation and I was there. I don't think I did a good job of hiding my shock and disgust at the thought of this ass coming to MY home and being around the kids. My parents are coming for D's grad. but they are staying at a hotel. This is their first visit in 3 years as my W always would say it wasn't a good time for them to visit but her dad has come several times since. He stays in the backyard in a camper and my W spends all her time out there with him and his W not even bothering to talk to the kids let alone feed them. This time they will be there while my daughters are out of school and will be alone with him and his W all day. I really don't think I will be able to hold my tounge around him this time. In the past I put up with his crap because he is my W's father. (He puts down my W, me, kids. Says things that are so inappropriate and my W usually makes excuses for him saying he's "just kidding", yeah, right. A couple years ago he had a fit when I wouldn't let my 12 year old go see the R rated movie HE wanted to see. He refused to go to ANY movie and you should have seem my W and his W trying to placate him!).

I don't want this man at my home or around my kids and W knows this. He is the only person who thinks what my W is planning is the right thing to do and has hid her intentions from her mom's side of the family so she can't ask them for help.She has no business asking my daughter about going there for so long without talking to me about it first and knows I would fight her to stop her from going (who knows what's going on in her MLC rattled brain). Every time my W starts to relax a bit, this man comes, stirs things up and I'm left with the depressed/anxious mess of a daughter while he goes away thinking he's being such a great father helping his daughter see how she is wasting her life married to me! (Remember, he is the one who talked my wife into taking off her ring, opening her own bank account without telling me and changing the passwords on all her accounts, etc.)Part of me feels that every time she starts to think maybe she shouldn't leave, she talks to him and he gets her mind right back to where it was before! I know he has told her that if she stays "things will just go back to the way they were", that she needs to do this to "grow" as a person, that I've held her back her whole life just by being married to her.

I don't know when she was planning, if at all, to tell me he was coming. She KNOWS I will not support this but of course she does what SHE wants without a single thought to what I will think or how it will affect me OR her kids. My daughters don't like this man and are VERY uncomfortable around him. My oldest will be able to get away by going to her boyfriends but my youngest will be stuck, not to mention I don't want anything to do with him or him anywhere near me or my family!How do I confront my W about this without making things even worse? What's next? Ugh!