Upwards - Needing support, tough times ahead

[Upwards]

Sorry Upwards. Best advice I can give you is HOLD YOUR BOUNDARY. If you bend, you will start cycling and that is no way to live (and I say that from experience).

I'm going to, I HAVE to! I've not even told him I'm cutting contact I just have - I won't be responding to anything unless it's absolutely necessary until I've has some space and got my head together. I'm then going to ask him to meet me for a chat in a few weeks, I'm going to tell him that I'm no longer his friend or a part of his life so I DO NOT want to talk about anything other than kids/finances/business & I will be amicable when handing over the kids but the line is drawn there, I have no desire to play his games or be manipulated anymore. I'm back in control!!!

H is going to have to feel like he's really lost you before he's even going to be able to consciously make a choice regarding his future. The bad news is, for him to feel like that, you really have to set him free...and ultimately, set yourself free. That's hard stuff.

Oh he has lost me, I'm done & I have no idea if this will change I'm the future but for now I'm well & truly done with him and his chaos. He's free, I want as little contact as possible so that I can get on with my life without him always being there in the background checking I'm still an option, this option has left the building!!!

I think you have to put that "best for me and the kids" hat on and keep it on. You should be making decisions for YOU. What is best for you? What is going to make you happy? How do you protect your heart? Sometimes the answers are difficult, but if you know they are right for you, follow through with them.

Removing him from my life is what's best & it makes me sad to say it but removing him will also make me happier in the long run, it's just this initial period which is going to be difficult but I know it's the ONLY way forwards - we've tried every other way and it's just caused more pain & upset.

I need to face my fears and do this, I need to stop being scared and embrace this new adventure, I'll get there - I'm just putting one foot infront of the other right now.