I have made, in my opinion, the same kind of " trip " as XH. Going through my crisis.. Reflecting on my childhood and past experience to help me deal with all of this. My believes are still family first. I wish our unit was whole but I cannot control this. XH cannot be replace by anyone and I don' t like the person he is in the moment. so what are my options?? To go on and live as a single mother of four and keep them on top of my list. The struggles are the right way to go. I sometimes wish I could do or give them more but I do my best.. I KNOW I DO.. My mother' s past experience with us kids is my inspiration on handleing this. I talked to her about the way I feel, last week, and I felt validated cause she understood my feelings. It made a lot of sense to her and she knows how difficult it is. I saw sadness and pride in her eyes.. I left feeling strong and confident.
For now, and probably as long as I have kids home, this is how it will be and I am ok with it..
My tears have dried up.. I am 95 percent back. I am very successful at work. My confidence and self-esteem is " almost " all back. I say almost because it depends on the subject. I still don' t understand midlife crisis eventho I feel I am living one. I am proud of me and the way I conduct myself despite my struggle. I AM VERY PROUD of my kids. Life overall is good and GOD is very good to me. In times of need, I can' t explain it but there was always someone there to help , many times unexpectedly.. I AM GRATEFUL. I feel like we lived a lifetime in 4 yrs. The 5th has been as expected with 3 teens around lol Life is good
