And Now I Am A Homeowner!

[WenikiTiki]

Today my X came over for his tools. And somehow I ended up helping him. And I came home and was feeling beat up emotionally. And just found it funny that I had to remind him to take his shoes he keeps by the back door, and so on. I drove his truck over and back, he has a new car, he plans to sell the truck. He offered me a cut if I sold it for him. Because that is what I do, all the people dealing with stuff.

And funny, he told me about how I am "Larger Than Life" and how that intimidates people. I just don't know what to say. I am me. I am who I am. For pity sakes I just want to live in a world where people have enough confidence in themselves to stand beside me and just accept me for who I am.

Yes, I have a big personality. I love everyone and everything around me. Even if I don't start conversations with perfect strangers, they start them with me. One of my customers told me I have a gift. That was a nice thing to hear.

I am grumpy because I shouldn't have lifted and carried stuff today. I have stupid adhesions from my hysterectomy and it hurts like crazy right now. But my X has a messed up back and I didn't want him hurting himself. And I know we are divorced, but this past 35 years of always thinking about him is a hard habit to break.

I moved heaven and earth to refinance this house in my name. But am thinking (again) I should sell it and move to Nevada City. That town is chock full of people with big personalities. I think I might be boring and normal there. Or at least people wouldn't be so intimidated by me.

I was thinking back and was remembering my great-grandma. She married her 3rd husband when she was 59. He was 49. Together they opened a nursing home when she was 70. They ran it until she was 95. When she was 96 my Grandpa Rossie passed away. We had visited them 2 weeks before, and Ross was still driving a car at 86.

I am about to turn 55. And I need to remind myself, there is a whole bunch of living left for me to do! And yes, I hope there is a Mr. Right out there for me.

Oh well. Tomorrow is another day!