Ok. Went to see W's GM today and it was hard. She thought her husband who has been dead for 30 years was not only alive but left her there all on her own and was angry at him for it. My wife finally had to tell her the truth and started to cry. I came in and helped explain to her that she was confused, helped her understand. She did finally understand and was grateful we spoke with her. My wife also is having me take her to church with me tomorrow, my wife refuses to go with me since B-day. When her GM asked her why she wasn't going to, my wife said because she's "bad" but I pray for her. Her GM also asked "don't you want to go to heaven with Matt?". My wife just nervously laughed. She doesn't even want to be married to me, let alone spend eternity with me! That was hard!
Should I be doing this? Yes, I care about her GM. I have been part of her family for 20 years and all on her mothers side love me but it is HER family. I know if I asked my W to help my parents or family member I really don't think she would. It's hard having a W who doesn't wear her ring, plans on leaving in weeks, blames me for all her unhappiness and still counts on me for so much. God, this is so hard. I still care so much about my W. I hate to see her hurt like she did today but what is she going to do when she is gone and on her own? Why does she think its ok to use the fact that I care so much about her even when she tells me she doesn't want me anymore? What exactly is it that makes her think I'm not good enough to be her husband anymore when she counts on me so much?
I know there aren't answers except none of this is about me. It's about her wanting to stop hurting but for the life of me how can she think I cause her so much pain but want so much when she gives nothing in return!
