Working on myself

[Mic]

Hi Melissa
Tried all of that first. Asked him about family counseling to help the kids work through the divorce. His response. You are the unstable one. They are happy and will have no issues.
Tried to agree again. We have been doing where he has we'd, thur and every other weekend. I was able to take the kids to church on my weekend. I go in Saturday. Please understand if he wants to take the kids to church I am ALL for it. He just never went anywhere to church ever.
We started this when my son was 3 months old. Separated when son was 6 months old. Against the advice of everyone I let him keep our son overnight so all 3 children would be together. Still nursing through all of this. I asked if I could come nurse once a day on his days. I nursed my oldest to a year and the second to 14 months. Want to nurse him that long. I had all my children natural no drugs. Believe me I try to look out for their best interest.
Anyway after mediation he did not like the way it looked. I had 4 pages of stuff to get written I. The parenting agreement going out 18 years. Since he did not get what he wanted he revoked my privilege to nurse my son on his days. Christmas is very important to him. I have other holy days I celebrate. I offered him Christmas Day and Christmas Eve every year but stated I would like thanksgiving. He said no I want thanksgiving also. I said well we will just follow the courts every other holiday plan. He said no I will not do that either. This is all in mediation.
I have no idea how to have a rational discussion with him. My default position is I say if we can't agree it will be taken out of our hands and the courts will decide.
He got so irrational in mediation that the social worker made him leave and was worried for my safety.
The courts are the ones ordering the parenting investigation. I'm not sure what else I can do.
He is refusing to do counseling. Refused to go back to mediation. Before I went forward with my affidavit my attorney called his to see if we could try to negotiate one more time. He stated he would give me a day I already had if I promised to live in the city we live in and have our kids go to school there for the next 18 years. He is a head political figure in our small city and I feel the fallout may be very harmful to the kids and it does not allow me to ever move forward in my life. I want my children to see their dad. I talk him up and want him to have a relationship with him but I feel I can't negotiate when there is no cooperation. Am I missing something?
Wonka
Financially there is a lot of money at stake or there was this year. His income increased 5x what he has ever made in the last year and a half.
Truly he doesn't want to pay any support child and it is like pulling teeth to get him to pay anything. We are in the process of making child support and maintenance court ordered. It appears he has recklessly spend multiple thousands after our financial restraining order is in place.
I do have two amazing attornys ya though.