As far as telling the OM's W, my thought is that if the shoe was on the other foot would you want someone to tell you? To me it's not about revenge as much as it is about doing the right thing as a human being. Just my personal opinion and it probably isn't a popular one, but it led me to sending my W's friends (who considered me family) an email expressing my disappointment in them that they didn't tell me. Some people prefer not to get involved.
