Spouse tried I didn't, now opposite

[whytry]

Thank you pm, and I know you're right. My life has always been self centered and the new feelings are so emotionally strong its difficult to detach. My kids are so loving and affectionate it's horrible to have the memories of how I treated them always swirling in my head. They hug me and love me so I use that to strengthen me. The impulse to make up for being such a monster of a H is my greatest hurdle. W has no reason to try and I know that. Destroying such a beautiful and amazing woman kills me inside.