I came here 4month ago needing help and advice with saving my marriage and family. A lot has happened since my last post over a month plus ago. Wife still continue with affair and not willing to work on our marriage. It has been 5month and my w affair still continues strong. In fact she called it relationship now. Whatever! I don't care anymore. I'm working on me, taking care of my daughter and living my life without her in it. She claimed she's not INLOVE with him and stated this young OM is a temporary fix. I've tried not to pressure her and talk little about us. She claimed she's not happy and wants a new marriage. She also accused me of ruining any opportunity of any reconciliation between us. I don't know about that, but that's okay at this point. She never really express her reason for all this but claim she's not happy and want out of the marriage.

I was prideful in myself and in my marriage. I believed that I was better than other people and that I had a marriage that was above any else's. I thought we were bulletproof and untouchable, wrong! I was dead wrong. My whole sitch is worse than anyone could ever imagine.

On a positive note, I had the best time of my life spending three weeks with my daughter. Father and daughter connection was great! I took her out shopping, went to the aquariums, zoo and amusement park. She loved it and thank me for being there for her. The father and daughter love connection was undeniable between us. She was loving and appreciative of every single thing I did for her. I also went back to spend Easter weekend with her last week. W was away but I spent the weekend spending quality time with my D. W asked me to pick her from the airport 2days into my visit, I did without any complain. She asked if I like her new shoe, I politely told her yes and focus my attention on my daughter. She also asked if the pant I have on were new. I told her yes without any further conversation about it. I was a little sad on my last day. My 4yrs old daughter asked me to sit with her at park. "She said mummy is not happy and mad at you" I honestly don't know where she got that from. I asked my W but she ignored the conversation. She also also came clean that same day by telling me her and OM has been spending time going out with my daughter on weekend. Going out to eat, mall and movies. I was crushed and couldn't hold back the tears, I ask her why but no answer. She told me OM gives her advice and pay close attention to our situation. She also told me they've both talked about long distance relationship but she's not interested in doing long distance with him. Her last world that afternoon was we need time apart. She asked for a hug at the airport, I respectfully decline. I don't see myself hugging her after divulging all that nonsense about OM holding my daughter at the mall.

Ultimately, I was wrong for thinking maybe she was coming around. Anytime I see or think there is progress, she runs to the OM. Has to be something there psychologically for her, but I need to not worry about her. Two weeks ago she said she will stop talking to OM and ready to work on our marriages, false! She says stuff to have her way and back to him same day or next.

I'm just going to keep going with my activities and keep working on me. This is going to take a long time. Will be interesting to see how I feel if when I reach a point where I decide what I would actually like to do. For example, do I really want to be M to someone that has treated me like this. Someone who have no respect for me and my daughter.

I've come a long way from drinking and crying everyday, the tears and pain is still there but not like when I first came to this board. I'm also back to work!!! Thanks to everyone on this board for supporting me and advising me to take care of me and not to give up on my career. I've a long way to go but with God all things are possible.

I've no single communication with her family, except from her father who owes me money. We hardly talk about my W, Just business and that's it. He now addresses me as soon to be ex son in law lol. All I can do is smile and focus my attention on the topic of the money he owed me for 2yrs.

I think it's time to go completely dark. Any advice on doing this with a 4yrs old?