At first, I did want to tell the OM W to punish, get revenge or out of vengeance. I almost did it when I found her work number online but it turned out she no longer worked there. I have told both my W and the OM that I will tell the OM's W if they don't stop the A. But, those threats did not work. In any case, I no longer want revenge or vengeance. I have moved past those toxic emotions. I would only consider telling the OM's W because she could potentially help apply leverage to her H to stop the A. I'm pretty certain telling his W would stop the A dead in it's tracks. Yet, I agree that forcing things is not the best course of action. I think the A is already fizzling out naturally.
Unfortunately, in the two months since I've discovered the A , I've gone into self protect mode. I'm closer than I've ever been to accepting that my M may not recover. Why? Because I reached forgiveness and trust-rebuilding early and the result was that NOTHING changed on my W's part. The A continued exactly the same. Both my W and the OM have been brazen with their continued dating.
I've communicated all of this info to my W so that she is aware the stakes are now VERY high. While I am certainly trying to fight for my M, my emotions have changed. I fear that if my W does not start to make some kind of effort to truly reconcile and make amends very soon, I may give up on the M. This is a real danger since my W is not the most giving person and is incredibly self centered. I can't help but think I deserve better.
