This morning, I asked my W if she was still seeing the OM. "No," she lied. Then, I asked my W if she had met the OM for dinner Fri night. "No," she lied again. Next, I admitted that I had her followed last Fri night by a friend and that I knew she had a romantic dinner with the OM. Oddly, I didn't feel much emotion regarding her lies, the affair or anything today. I seem to have become somewhat emotionally detached.
My wife texted me today and I made a few attempts at putting boundaries into words. Here is the first one...
'When u sneak around with the OM, I feel betrayed and disrespected. I want to work to improve myself and our marriage but if this behavior continues, I'll have to consider all my options including ending our relationship.'
Her reply, "I wish I felt more connected to you and felt that it was easy to communicate with you. I do not love the OM and feel like I don't need to see him like I did before...becoming less and less dependent on his company."
This seems pretty good at face value but the reality is that we are now on our 3rd attempt to reconcile and nothing has truly changed in the affair or her behavior. It's all just been empty promises by her and status quo behavior. The trust is gone and she's shown me nothing I can rebuild upon.
At the moment, I'm not feeling like I want to save my marriage. I see my wife as incredibly selfish and hedonistic. I hope for the sake of my family that I can change my mind soon but I think my wife will have to show me some attempt at change very soon or she's going to lose me.
I'm conflicted about my plan to tell the OM's wife. She seems like a nice lady. How can I break her heart with the reality of her H's affair? Also, my W is just going to be angry and it will push her farther away.
