choosing door #2 - next part in my journey

[TL72*]

cczamo - thank you for your hugs. My exH turned 56 yesterday, we do have similar sitches don't we! Mine did deny OW and left quickly but I do think it was at the very least an EA. It seemed he wanted PA and us being married stopped him from doing that because of his morals. Mine didn't even bother taking furniture, he left almost everything. I think he cashed out his 401k and bought all new. I can only guess and it was either that or he moved in with OW but I stopped speculating, it was driving me crazy. Anytime you need to talk just holler at me. It is nice to talk to people that understand. Scooby, I analyze almost constantly, he did me a favor by leaving because I don't see or hear any of it, so I don't have to watch it and I have no way of knowing any details of his life now. I stopped looking and of course separated out all the accounts so now it just doesn't matter anymore. Of course I think about it and have to stop myself because my imagination is worse than the real thing probably. Detaching is hard, especially when you were attached for so long. The MLC'er makes it look so easy. If he was still here i'm sure i'd be pulling out my hair by now. He comes over Sunday so i'll see him for an hour or so, he of course appears perfectly happy and makes me question MLC. Then I think about all his actions and know that it is. It really svcks and I'm still going through depression like every one else but I do see progress in myself and that keeps me going. Trying to have gratitude for the good things and keep a positive attitude. Still have my moments when I just cry, less though. You do have to allow yourself time to grieve for sure. It won't always be this way, I can't ever know what the future holds but you know what, we'll all be ok eventually. Even if they never come back. Take care of yourselves and thank you for posting on my sitch, it means so much to me to have others going through this. (((hugs)))