Scooby, To answer your question, I am divorced. My xh filed and we moved forward.
You can't make rational out of non-rational behavior. You can try until the cows come home, but you can't make them see the light.
The kids will not keep him grounded if he goes into full blown replay. Right now, yes, he's a good father and maybe he'll be one of the lucky few that remains a good father, but a large majority of them walk away and the kids are the ones that don't see their parent for more than a few hours each week. So, please be prepared for him not being as attentive as he is now.
You are the only one that can decide what to do w/your life. No one else can live it for you.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
