You bring up an intersting point. At first H said he wanted a divorce but was staying for kids, because I was not ready for D, and because he wanted us to be friends. The next reason was that I was pretty sick from all the stress so he could not leave me (yeah right! OW went back to boyfriend at that time.) Now it is that he will not divorce until his situation is figured out. UGH!! I hate this all.
Yes, I am very passive and have never had a backbone. It is hard to get when you have lived half your life without it. If I stand up to him - monster comes out more often. If I just let him do his own thing, we don't fight. The way I have been getting a backbone is GAL - going out with kids. H does not like it because we are not at home when he expects. I am normally a home body.
I have posted in MLC too. He is doing all the behaviors and fits the age, but does not seem to get angry like MLC unless provoked. I saw the monster a lot in the beginning because I did all the wrong things. I have this fear that he just does not want me anymore and it is not MLC, bipolar, or something else. He definately is on a rollercoaster. But there was a time in the past he completely changed his life because he was so into a girl. He seems to be morphing himself to his OW (but does not admit she is OW.)
UGH!!! I am sure whiney yesterday and today. Sorry. Believe it or not, I am better than I used to be. Found this site about a month ago, and it has helped tremendously.
