So sorry to hear about where H is at and what he is doing. He is so running from his pain and himself and nothing seems to be able to slow him down. You know that one day when he finds that he just can't run away from this he will regret what he has done to the people who have loved and counted on him the most. It WILL happen. When, no one can say. In the mean time know that you will pull through this. You have 3 great reasons to be strong and be the best person you can be! Trust in God. Trust in yourself. You are stronger than you feel right now and have ever known! Now is the time to show your kids the way to deal with adversity with grace and strength. You can do it and we are all here for you and on your side!