You will reach a point where the feelings calm down a bit and you will see his problems more clearly. The hurt gets in the way of us seeing them as they truly are right now. Your friends and family probably see it better than you do right now. The shellshock sorta keeps us in a bit of a fog too.
At some point, you will have a moment where you go, "WTF??? What in the HE!! is wrong with this guy!!"
You may already have some moments of clarity like that. When you love someone and have so much invested in a future with them, it's really hard to see the insanity for what it is. If you were standing on the outside, imagine what you would say to a girlfriend.
It helped me, in the beginning, to stick to the facts. Write the facts down if you need to.
1. He is having an affair. 2. He having numerous, venomous meltdowns. 3. He is lying, alot. 4. He is not taking responsibility for his problems and the part he played in the marital problems.
These alone, say this man is not wrapped too tight right now. Healthy, sane, clear-thinking people do not act this way.
Write down the crazy things he does. The crazier, the better...it may help to see in writing how off he really is and validate that YOU are not the crazy one here.
Protect your heart right now. You can't trust him to protect it. Imagine yourself with a big ol' bullseye on your back. That's how he sees you.
Much love,
Heather
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
