I hope I can make this understandable, it's more of a change in your way of thinking and those are sometimes difficult to explain.
If you are OK right now in this moment, you can be OK in the next, you can be OK tomorrow, you can be OK next week, etc. It's there inside you. It's usually our thoughts and interpretation of those thoughts that bring on the not-OK.
Your H is doing those things that cause you distress whether you know about them or not. But you're able to OK when you don't know about it. Your life is good. So it's not what he's doing that causes the distress, it's you knowing about it and the stories in your mind about his activities. You can change how you think.
Your OK-ness doesn't have to be tied to him, shouldn't be tied to him.
The Happiness Trap delves into all this in a much clearer way than I can. You can read the first chapter online free. It's a new, maybe difficult, concept to grasp but it's worth reading. The book (along with other things I do, meditation being one) really helped me understand the power of my mind and how I could let go of my thinking about events to make my life better.
There's a lot of science behind this, even tho my explanation sound a bit dodgy.
Give it a shot.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
