Scooby, The MLCer begins detachment a long time before the bomb drop, u.e., usually it begins in a very subtle way 18-24 months prior to the bomb drop.
We, on the other hand, have just learned of the "I want a divorce" or "I need to find myself", etc. comments, and that's why we are so emotional and shocked because it's all new to us. As we travel the Yellow Brick Road, you'll begin to reflect back on things and will actually start to see some of the things that were changing, but it wont' happen until you are far more stronger and have begun your own journey.
MLC is not for the faint of heart. You have to toughen your skin because there are going to be many days when your spouse acts out and says things that you wouldn't have ever thought he would say and do. Now, he's the mirror image of the "good" self. He'll be the opposite of the person you once knew. Learn to accept him for who he is today and do not "expect" him to be the man that he once was.
Keep the focus as much as possible on you. Find your footing and begin your journey of self discovery.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
