I think I belong here #3

[praying_in_GA]

I know how pity-party I sound tonight and I am sorry. I was feeling so strong and I still have many moments of strength. This sudden understanding that I will be divorced soon is hard for me. I always had this dream in the back of my head that things would heal and we would build a new marriage. I know it takes time and I know it is still possible. It will be years before we are there (if we get there). I know that it is him and not me. I am slowly coming to terms with the idea. I know it in my mind it's hard to feel it in my heart as well.

I still love him and I still have the desire to see him turn his life around to become the amazing, loving, committed father and husband I know he can be. But I cannot change his heart or his mind right now. This is his journey to travel alone. I cannot hasten it and I cannot accompany him. I will love and support my kids through this. I will find my way in a world without H. I will come out of this stronger and taller.

I still love him and I hope for the best in his life.

Please pray for my kids. My oldest is in the middle. She understands the most out of the three. She is breaking my heart and I am trying to be strong for her. Please pray for my strength and my ability to be the mother they need right now.

I still love him.