I think I belong here #3

[praying_in_GA]

Well, he spoke to a lawyer yesterday. I forgot a friend of his brother (acquaintance of mine) is a lawyer. It will be $1500 to file uncontested. He has told her to give me full custody and we will adjust child support as things change. He said he trusts me to let him see the kids despite the papers. He said if the Navy doesn't take him he is going to do something else that will take him away from here for a few years. He said he just needs to get away and get out and find himself again. He said he loves the kids and he will miss them and he is sure they will probably hate him. He said he is sorry he is leaving me to take care of them but he knows that I will do a good job and I have so much family support that they will be well cared for. He said his job is to send us money since he is walking away and he knows that.

I told him that I have so many people telling me to not trust his word and to make sure I cover my butt well. He said he understands that but he is willing to give me anything I want as long as I agree to sign and get it over with sooner rather than later.

He said he asked the lawyer about dating and such. She said the only thing it would hurt is if we used it against each other for custody and since he is giving me full custody there isn't anything there.

He is just ready to be done and gone. I might get the kids and the child support, but that also means he is absolved of any mandatory father time as well.


Random ramblings from me today:

I feel very out of control and very resigned to my fate. I hate this. My marriage is over.

Nothing is going to change. I'm getting a divorce and he is leaving for somewhere for years. My husband. The father of my children is walking away and leaving me as the sole parent for years.

So, I'm getting divorced. And things will never be the same. I will be a single parent in just a few months. The only one my kids have in their house. He is just leaving. Just going off to do whatever he want to do. Leaving me to care for them because he knows I will.


Everywhere I go, he is there. His stuff, his life, his smell, his presence.... Even at work I go to the rooms where our kids were born. Where we spent our first days as new parents, a family of 4, and then a family of 5. Everything in my world is my 14 year marriage and it is all gone now.