I'm a 50 year old husband who has been married for almost 11 years. We have a 9 year old son. Our marriage has mostly been sex starved (W not interested). In February, I caught my W having an Emotional Affair with a work colleague.
She confessed to the A and told me it had been going on since December. I was emotionally crushed. Immediately, she told me she did NOT want a divorce. She agreed to break off the A and we both agree to try to reconcile. I sent a text to the OM and warned that if he continued to pursue my wife, the first person I would tell would be his wife. He agreed to stay away.
Within a few weeks, it became obvious that they were still seeing each other. I confronted my wife. She lied at first. She got angry. Then, when I told her the facts, she admitted that the A was ongoing.
We talked divorce. I told my wife I was going to inform the OM's W about the A. She said she would NEVER forgive me if I told his wife. I sent texts back and forth with the OM and further warnings. I told him I would hold back telling his W and showing proof but only if he stopped the A with my W. He agreed.
This past week, I went on a short trip out of town Fri & Sat with my son. I knew based on past patterns that the A often happened on Fri nights. So, I had a friend follow my W on Fri. My W went out to dinner with the OM on Fri night while I was out of town. I have not told my W I know, yet. I have a plan.
I plan to drive out to the OM house on Mon, while he's at work, tell his W all about the A and show her proof. I'm not doing this out of anger. I've let go of most of the anger at this point. I'm going to tell his W so that we can both work to stop this A. Obviously, my W and her H are addicted to this EA. I understand they have a strong connection. The way I look at it, my M cannot survive if the A continues. I think my best chance for ending the A is to put pressure on the OM via his W. I know this will anger my wife and possibly push her away from me but I'm ready to roll the dice.
I was so weepy and sad 3 months ago when I first found out. Now, I'm strong and stoic. If it comes to D, I'm ready. I don't want to throw my M away at this point but I'm not afraid if that is ultimately the end result.
My wife and I have a lot of love for each other. We are very affectionate. But, her repeatedly breaking my trust is a huge problem. I realize now that my W has continued the A while I've been the one trying to make it up to her. What a fool I've been. If she wants to stay M and avoid D, she needs to make amends.
I ordered Divorce Busting this week, so I'm brand new to the info and methods. In reading through some stuff on this forum, I think I've made some mistakes in my approach. But, I'm ready to change my direction. I'm very optimistic about my future even if my fate is D. Hopefully, I'm in a perfect place to start using the Weiner-Davis approach.
