With All My Hopes and Dreams

[soldier]

Hey Nettles, to answer your question helping my wife with her professional career I have done for many years so this behavior is one of the good “old me” things that I have brought into me new me attitude. I do agree that if she thought this was pressure of any kind she would not have hesitated to say no to my help so in the end I feel good about my decision.

So lunch I think went really well. She still had some cold comments to through my way every so often but I never broke my cool once and simply validated her feelings and moved right on into the conversation. I asked questions to her about what she had been doing recently to keep the conversation going and I looked her right in the eyes the whole time. She did not look into mine much but when she did I could tell she was not use to such undivided attention. I listened intently to every single word she said and it was actually quite a great experience. I hadn’t realized how much I had failed to do that in years past.

She asked me about if I had seen anyone as far as therapy and I told her I had seen one therapist but didn't think she was a good fit for me and I was in the process of looking for a new one. I asked her if she had seen anyone and she said no. Only because we had been on the subject I made a small mistake and I asked about marriage consoling and her interest in it and she said she wanted that for years but I always said no and so now she wasn't interested. I immediately let it go and stopped pushing.

She asked why I had taken a few days off of work recently (D5 had told my W this info) and I just told her I had some stuff to take care of and left it there. She said she hoped everything was alright and I told her that I was just fine. I could tell that she had noticed my weight loss and she even told me that I looked nice which was the first compliment I had received from her in probably over a month.

We caught up and laughed a good bit and it was a very nice visit. As it approached time to end the lunch I exited first and we went to our vehicles which were parked next to each other’s and she started yet another conversation. After she finished with her little bonus round I told her that this was nice and I really enjoyed seeing her again. I asked her if she would mind if I gave her a hug and she said she actually had wanted that very much. We had a good hug which felt better than anything I have every felt in my entire life. We released and she started to talk again but I dismissed myself saying unfortunately I had to get back to work. I said good bye and hoped in my truck.

All and all I am feeling really good right now and it was enough to recharge my batteries for the fight ahead. I am setting no expectations at all but trying to enjoy the many small victories that were within this simple lunch.

An interesting side note is that with the distance from her mothers house to where she currently works she already faces a commute that is over and hour and some change long and it is wearing on her from what I can tell. From our home to her current job is more like 10 minutes if that. The job that she is applying for would be an additional 26 miles further which would be close to 1 hour and 35 minutes from her mothers and about 25 minutes from our home. When it came up in conversation she said she was excited about this job but didn't like the idea of commuting from our home to the jobs location. This is interesting because she didn't say her mothers house but instead specifically said from our home to this new job. Again no expectations but the idea did make me happy.