Thanks everyone!! I love being able to come here for support and words of encouragement.
I really am starting to see that I deserve so much more than my H has to offer. While I love my H, I just dont want to be a part of his drama anymore.
Even though I have told H that I prefer not to talk on the phone, he called twice yesterday. The second time I did not answer. He left a message asking me whether I could feed S5 after baseball practice because he needed to drop S5 off right after practice to head to a charity poker night for work.
I have told my H numerous times that I don't want to know what is going on in his life. I don't want to know about the charity poker night, because that just means that he will be out drinking all night with the OW. It brings back horrible memories from last year. H went to a similar event and simply did not come home. I was up all night wondering whether he was alive or dead. I called local jails to see if I had been arrested and brought in for a DUI. It was horrible. He stumbled in at 8 in the morning and was annoyed that I was upset. His response...what are you mad at, I got home in time for you to go to your appointment. Um...he was still drunk and expected me to leave all three kids with him. It was the beginning of the end. Things had been bad before, but they spiraled out of control from that point forward.
I am not sure if it is trying to be manipulative or that he is just self absorbed. I may never know. But it is giving me a ton of motivation to enforce the boundaries this time around. If it means that he finally walks away, then I truly believe that God has a better plan in store for me.
