take advantage and go out without him while he sits with the kids at night. Yes! That's actually the plan. I told him that him being here would give me some "me" time after being with the kids all week. I'll likely go to the condo bar for karaoke again Saturday night while he's hanging with the kids.
He should know, if he does not already, that you will be just fine without him. The question is, do you realize that yet too? I think I realize that I will be fine, emotionally, one day. I'm not quite there yet. Finding out yesterday that even a friend's boss knows about the A - and he was openly talking to her about it yesterday - sent me into a temporary tailspin. I'm humiliated, though I know I shouldn't be. There's a part of me that wants to write a blog post, or a Facebook post, and just tell everybody I know - and then some people - about the A and how I'm separated from my H. I mean, it IS shocking people to see him hanging out with OW in public ... in my town. It's so disrespectful. But I digress ...
I know I'll be fine emotionally.
Financially? That's the one that's getting me right now ...
Part of going dark is to preserve what feelings you have left for your H. I know this sounds awful - and it flies in the face of the entire reason for being here - but there's part of me that's doing this on purpose, HS. I don't WANT to care for him, or love him, anymore. It hurts too bad.
I know its no comfort right now, but your H will come to regret this one day. People keep telling me this, and I want to believe it. At the same time, I know he probably won't feel that regret until I've moved past WANTING him to, if that makes sense.
I'm in the Charlotte area frequently for work- I'd love to visit this OWs grocery store to see what she looks like - I'm sure she's a mess Are you ever in the Lake Norman area? If you're ever headed this way for work, you let me know when, and we'll figure out a way to meet up in the parking lot! Then I'll treat you to coffee!
M: 40 H: 44 Married 14 years S11 & D6; D20 & D19 from previous M 2BDs/PAs, 8 years apart Piecing: April 2014
