[SemperFi00]

A little better today – thought of some things that may be contributing to me being in a funk the last couple of days:
• Post holiday letdown – although Easter is not one of my favorites
• Kids (and W) are on school break this week – think I may actually be a bit jealous (and angry) about the fact that W appears to be having nice, relaxing, fun and happy week off bonding with kids while I am getting up every day and going to work to provide
• Adoption process required another $1k for retainer and is getting closer to being finalized – and last update from W was that this is the final step in her mind before filing

Two other general comments/feelings:
• In general a sense of frustration that W seems happy and ok with the situation and what states she is going to do – apparently completel oblivious or ignoring the pain being caused to others (although I know that WAS generally act in a very selfish manner)
• A sense that I am being taken advantage and being overly nice and accommodating to all of the W’s current craziness

Seems to me that for the past couple of years W has continued to enjoy all of the benefits of the R and family without being willing to engage in any meaningful way…….. And the opposite for me – seems that I have continued to play the role of H, father, provider, etc because that is part of my values without getting the benefits of being in a loving, caring R.

Very frustrating!!!!!