Mach is trying to help you to see that you have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with W's MLC and trying to 'diagnose' or 'fixing' her crisis isn't your job at all.
I want to expand on Mach's comment here:
Originally Posted By: Mach1
Most MLCers refuse to look inward, because the problem cannot be with them self (part of the depression), so it HAS to be something else. You are the closest to her, so she hurts you the most.....
In my case, when I was going through my own MLC, I was deeply mired in my own unhappiness along with depression that felt like the world was closing in on me...especially Ms. Wonka. As we live in a very tangible world, we struggle trying to find the "source" of our unhappiness or depression which is why we look outward/externally to latch onto as a way to identify the REAL problem so we can fix it. For me, I was clueless and unaware that it was ALL ON ME and my chit. It took a long time to work through that others, especially Ms. Wonka, was not the source of my MLC angst.
In a way, we were not refusing to look inward...but working VERY hard to identify and locate the source of whatever is causing our misery. It makes sense from our POV that something "out there" is the cause of it. Because the spouse is the closest to the MLCer, you bear the brunt of their anger and spewing. It is not until years later after our OWs/OMs and whatever else experimentation peters off that we slowly begin to realize that the problem all along was INTERNAL. Those group of MLCers are more, for lack of a better word, self-aware and evolved as opposed to those who remain stuck for years and years (i.e. Bea, WH, & Job's nutty nutters).
It is a slow process in waking up to the ultimate realization that the MLC was due to unresolved issues in a person's youth.
