WAW...Again

[stumps]

Kind of a weird night last night. W came home from work in the evening, said hello to the kids and then pulled me aside to the bedroom where she told me she was having a really hard/bad day. She started getting teary-eyed and told me she felt ultra-depressed and overwhelmed, and that she felt like she just needed a couple of hours alone to process everything that's been going on, but that feeling that way made her feel like a bad mom because she knew the kids had been looking forward to seeing her all day. She said it also made her feel guilty because she knew I had been working all day and probably wanted some relief from watching the kids, but that ultimately she felt like she needed some space to be on her own for a little bit to cry and "let it all out" and felt like she couldn't hide how she was currently feeling and didn't want to the kids to see that.

Interestingly, she also said that even though it added to her "bad mom" feelings, she would rather take the time to go off on her own for a little bit while the kids were still up, because that way she wouldn't miss out on "hang out" time with me after the kids were asleep.

So, I validated everything she had to say and made sure I told her that I didn't think she had anything to feel guilty about and that I was perfectly ok with her going for a drive or doing whatever she felt like she needed to. Also made sure to let her know that I wasn't thinking whatever negative thoughts about it that she thought I might be (one of her issues is attributing thoughts to me that I don't have).

W texted me a little while later to let me know she had grabbed some dinner and then went to the park to walk and have some "self therapy", and that me being so kind and understanding had been a big help. She came home a little while later and we spent the rest of the evening watching a movie. I had kind of expected (there are those expectations again) for her to want to have some kind of talk when she got home, but she just thanked me again for letting her have some time to herself and we left it at that.

While she was gone I kept up one of my 180/GALs and hung out with the neighbors in their front yard for a bit. Got a really nice ego-boosting compliment too; one of the neighbors told me that some of the moms who see me picking up the kids from school have started calling me "hot dad". Kind of embarrassing, but made me feel kind of good too... I've really been missing the love and affection from my wife, and it was nice to get a little esteem boost...even though the only person I really want it from (aside from myself!) is my W.