Upwards - Moving Fowards, Tiny Positive Steps

[Upwards]

Well the past 48hrs have not been good. I've hit rock bottom & bounced there several times, I sat with a packet of sleeping tablets thinking the only way out was to end my life pure desperation, complete exhaustion & a big cry for help - Its terrified me that I felt so desperate & I feel so guilty for thinking that way, it came out of nowhere as I had been doing well & everything just came crashing down around me.

I know now that I need to make sure I never get to that point again, I cant let myself & need to do everything I can to keep myself going because my kids deserve better than that. I still feel very low today, I know I'll feel ok in a few days so just trying to ride it out, right now it feels like this hell will be my life forever.

At the moment i'm trying to work on a lot of my own fears and its difficult but I know its worth it in the long run, i'm growing so much as a person and getting stronger but its also very painful and tiring.

Need some help to get back on track, struggling a lot.