Have I any hope...?

[25yearsmlc]

it's not your job to teach HER what to think or how to act, but to show change on YOUR end.

She won't return to the marriage unless she believes the marriage can be better/different than before. YOU have to demonstrate that change, and make no mistake, she is watching.

Next time she calls about a spider, you can validate the fact that they are gross or scary and you "get it" but don't offer to go over. IF She asks you to come over, I'd probably do it a time or two b/c I think it's a reason FOR a man in your life. Meaning, the protective function of having a man around, is really very nice.

But the offer from you was a bit much, especially since you then relegated yourself to a Sherpa role with "I'll sleep on the couch..." (why not let Her sleep there so YOU can "hunt" for the spider?...semi joking here)

You're expecting way too much too soon. Focus ONLY On your changes and NOT on her reactions.

The "secret" here is to change for YOU b/c you want to be a better man...become a man only a fool would leave.

And being a great attentive father is very attractive, and it's necessary too. So be the best dad you can be...(without watching to see your wife's reaction)

and give this a lot more time. A whole lot more time. Remember,

small consistent changes + sufficient time = change she can believe in...