Crimson....waiting for goodness to happen.

[sandi2]

Ever heard about the woman who was wheeled into the delivery room to have a baby......and she kept saying she changed her mind? True story!

Okay, what about a young girl who is barely in her teens who discovers she is pregnant, and she falls before God with her heart broken, ashamed, humiliated, and embarrassed. She sincerely asks God to forgive her. How will she know if He forgave her? Will she go by how she feels afterward, or how people treat her, or what happens in her life? What would you tell her, Crimson?

Let me go a step further. What if she questioned if she had been truly forgiven based on the fact she was still very much pregnant? Should she expect God to vanish the pregnancy to let her know He forgave her? Maybe I should rephrase that question, IDK. I am not saying we should tell Him how to run His business, but on the other hand........we seem to have certain expectations as proof of His love, forgiveness, and such.

I would like to hear your comments on this. In the meantime, I will give you what I believe. (Which certainly doesn't mean i think you should believe it since I do, but I like sharing this topic, so indulge me please.). I believe He forgives us based on His divine character, and not on how hard we work at being forgiven. I believe it is an act of faith, based on His promise in I Jn. 1:9. Our part is to confess it, and His part is forgiving, and the faith is believing He did what He said He would do.

I think if we believe (accept) it, then the feelings of peace, comfort, etc. can follow. But if we doubt......b/c certain things we had hoped for doesn't come about........we are really defeating ourselves and being our own worst enemy.

Just as God would forgive that young pregnant girl and love her throughout the whole nine months........she would still have the baby. It doesn't mean she wasn't forgiven. It doesn't mean God is punishing her. He is the only one who can take our faults and turn into something good...if we keep trusting Him.

We stand in the way of our own happiness.........and our doubt and hanging on to how we wanted God to work things for us....can prevent blessings coming our way. For all you know there is the greatest love of your life just waiting for you to give all of this stuff you are carrying aroind to God so you can begin to move her direction. But it can't happen b/c you won't lay it down.

Look, from day one I have told you to detach, stop contacting & sending her pictures, stop being available all the time, etc. And, since day one you have fought it tooth and nail. Even when others would tell you the same thing, you fought it and came back with the same talk as you are basically doing now. You never DETACHED! You were always AVAILABLE to her. And your reasoning was you feared she would believe you had not truly changed. After you really did change, you continued to hold on to that fear of what she would think about you. Even when you are told how a WAW needs to SUFFER some type of LOSS, you seem to turn it back to feeling you must show her goodness and kindness. But you admit you don't know if it is your own thinking or from above. You are asking 25yrs what goodness looks like.......(or something to that effect.). Why can't you just try dropping the rope, or even just the LRT? I mean, what can you lose?

You have been one of my favorite people here ever since you first came. But sometimes, Crimson, I want to turn you over my apron (as my grandmother use to say).......but I suppose I will give a hug instead. ((Crimson)). But seriously, this entire self destruction and torment since you have heard about OM is b/c you did not go through those BASIC DBing steps. You improved yourself as a man and a father, yes! But unless I have forgotten something (which entirely possible) the only thing I remember you doing that is recommended, is you did go out for a while. But I haven't heard about that in a really long time. But you never dropped your XW. You thought you would simply DIE if the D went through. But it did, and I had hoped you would finally start taking those DBing steps. You kept doing the same thing you are doing now. If there was ever a time you should have stepped back and let her wing it without you......but nothing changed. Then she moves back home for a very brief time and does it to you all over again. What did you do? Certainly not the basic DB steps in detaching, being unavailable, etc. So is there any wonder why you feel devasted again?

I just have to wonder how much of that fear she would not believe your changes were lasting......is really Crimson's excuse for not applying the LRT? I ask you again. What more could you lose? Plus, if there is ever going to be a time.......this it it, Crimson! I will tell you what you stand to lose. Your very last chance to apply it.