Easter weekend went great, I was doing very well. Even with everything that happened re running into W and OM. My kids went with my W to her families, and then they were to come back the next day. We had agreed on a meeting time. The next day, W asked me to do some mutual banking, and I replied and said I may be later that evening.
Long story short, we had a miscommunication. I thought she had okayed it, and she vehemently felt she had not. End result, I was 2 hours away when she thought I would be meeting her at the house. This led to a huge argument with lots of accusations that I was on a power trip etc. There was some name calling on both ends. Not positive. I picked the children up the next day, after convincing her that I should be allowed to say goodnight to the kids.
It felt like something had switched with her to react the way she did. And the next day, I found out she had a big discussion with her S and BIL. Initially when all this went down, I was speaking to my BIL a lot, because we are close, and my SIL not too much.
Unfortunately, it was enough, and I assume from what my W said that they said I was portraying her in a negative fashion. Obviously this is all perspective. I was venting to my BIL. Unfortunately, even though I stopped , the damage may be done. I don't begrudge anyone for saying anything, but it sure created a sh@tstorm between the two of us.
There is so much anger and resentment from her, I not sure if I should be working to resolve that. I think space will help with that, and I'm trying to get more for me. Alas , I'm not sure it helps. She seems to get angry with everything. And it is always my fault.
I can't control the way she feels, I can just try to make myself the best man possible. I'm not sure if I should discuss some of the previous issues that she feels we disagree on with her at this point. If I disagree with her, she doesn't feel validated. I have just listened and acknowledged where I have made mistakes. My culpability is real.
Ironically I'm happy she is talking to her sister. She questions me for being nice, and gets confused if I'm ever upset. I feel like I've been really strong and I am trying to be consistent. The message that she has lost me is real though. I'm sure she realizes that. I don't think that has changed from my end. I just keep watching.
Feeling a bit lost today. It will get better......it must!
