MEANWHILE THE FIRST THING she said to me this morning was, I forgot about the notes thanks for reminding me, that's one more problem we had!
Ugh
Ugh? Not ugh, you are missing the point. She is telling you what you need to do to change and have a chance to win her back. Listen with your heart, not with your ears.
From following your situation from the beginning and your recent posts it looks like you area an attacker. You justify it by seeing yourself as the victim.
She is telling you this and it is something you could change, if you want to.
Imagine what she would feel if you got into your conversations that you say turn into arguments and then instead of attacking her or the OM, like you have every single time you have documented it, imagine you did an extreme 180 and listen to how she feels and what she is telling you.
How would she feel? Is this something or someone you want to be? Only you can produce change in yourself but it will not come immediately and takes discipline.
You talk about being abused by her, but it looks like that door swings both ways. You cannot argue with someone who doesn't want to argue back. This 180 may leave you W wondering who this person is who is now interested in how she feels and is listening to her.
You need to stop your victimization of yourself and listen to what she is telling you. Your reaction to her statement this morning should not have been "ugh" it should be "wow, I didn't understand how much that could have hurt her, this is something I need to change."
She has every right to be upset with you and vice versa. You have to decide if you want to view her anger as constructive criticism or as fuel to your fire.
Which one would draw your W closer?
M:34 XW:34 Together: 10y Living: 9y Married: 7y Son:6 Son:4 Separated: 12/28/13 Piecing: 5/2/14 Separated 2nd: 10/16/14 W filed, but pulled it: 11/5/14 papers served: 1/27/15 D final: 3/6/15
